Leafhatred
6-29-05, 11:19 AM
A leaf fan decides he's going to take a week's vacation in May and drive out to Calgary. Proudly and bravely he decides he is going to continue to sport his leaf car flag even though the leafs have been eliminated from the playoffs again.
He gets to Calgary and checks into a hotel. He asks about the cost of a room. Noticing his car parked out front the hotel clerk says "$550 a night, sir."
"That's outrageous" says the leafer. The clerk explains that it's Calgary Stampede season and that all the hotels are completely full. "This is the very last room available in town," says the clerk.
Begrudgingly, the leafer slams down his credit card and pays. Then the clerk asks him if he would like his car parked. "No thanks, moans the leafer, I've got to go get gas."
As he drives down the road, he spots a gas station. Hmmn he, thinks to himself, that's a reasonable price as he looks at the posted price per litre.
Just as he parks at the pump, the posted price doubles. Fuming mad, he demands an explanation from the atttendant who has already started to pump. " Sorry sir, replies the attendant it's a head office thing, but with a fillup, you get a free "no touch" car wash. Just give me five minutes and then drive around to the back"
"Ok, I guess," says the leafer in a pained voice. He drives to the back and notices a sign that reads "CLEARANCE - 10 FEET" That's should be plenty high enough and above my leaf flag he thinks. But when he drives out the other end of the carwash, his carflag has been snapped off. Angrily, the leafer drives away but then turns around and goes back to demand an explanation. As he returns, he sees the attendant putting up a duplicate sign that reads "CLEARANCE 7 FEET"
"Now the leafer is really mad but the gas station attendant simply shrugs and says, "Boss's orders, sorry. If you would like to talk to the boss, he's down the street at the bar. His name is O'Donnell"
The leafer slams his car door and heads down to the bar where he bursts in and yells, "Who in here is O'Donnell?" This huge 350 pound, 6'6" guy with arms like telephone poles stands up and says, that's me, can I help you?"
The leafer stutters and shakes but manages to peep, "It's about your sign at the carwash."
"You're not a leaf fan are you?" asks big O'Donnell. The leaf fan turns away sheepishly and decides not to pursue the matter any further. He gets in his car and drives no further than two blocks when he's pulled over by the police. The officer asks him to step out of his car and take a look at the back license plate which has been replaced by a metal sign that reads, "I AM ONE CHICKENSH!T LEAF FAN"
The officer writes out a ticket for $200. "Here's your fine for driving with an illegal plate"
By now the leaf fan has completely lost it and is absolutely storming mad. He returns to the bar to look for his licence plate. Everyone he asks in the bar smiles and chuckles but seemingly nobody knows anything.
Finally he goes up to the bartender and asks, "Geez, does everybody in Calgary treat leaf fans this badly?"
"Well, says the bartender about the only people who are hospitable to leafers you are likely to find in this city are the hotel people. You see, the Stampede is still two months away and the vacancy rate is almost 100%"
He gets to Calgary and checks into a hotel. He asks about the cost of a room. Noticing his car parked out front the hotel clerk says "$550 a night, sir."
"That's outrageous" says the leafer. The clerk explains that it's Calgary Stampede season and that all the hotels are completely full. "This is the very last room available in town," says the clerk.
Begrudgingly, the leafer slams down his credit card and pays. Then the clerk asks him if he would like his car parked. "No thanks, moans the leafer, I've got to go get gas."
As he drives down the road, he spots a gas station. Hmmn he, thinks to himself, that's a reasonable price as he looks at the posted price per litre.
Just as he parks at the pump, the posted price doubles. Fuming mad, he demands an explanation from the atttendant who has already started to pump. " Sorry sir, replies the attendant it's a head office thing, but with a fillup, you get a free "no touch" car wash. Just give me five minutes and then drive around to the back"
"Ok, I guess," says the leafer in a pained voice. He drives to the back and notices a sign that reads "CLEARANCE - 10 FEET" That's should be plenty high enough and above my leaf flag he thinks. But when he drives out the other end of the carwash, his carflag has been snapped off. Angrily, the leafer drives away but then turns around and goes back to demand an explanation. As he returns, he sees the attendant putting up a duplicate sign that reads "CLEARANCE 7 FEET"
"Now the leafer is really mad but the gas station attendant simply shrugs and says, "Boss's orders, sorry. If you would like to talk to the boss, he's down the street at the bar. His name is O'Donnell"
The leafer slams his car door and heads down to the bar where he bursts in and yells, "Who in here is O'Donnell?" This huge 350 pound, 6'6" guy with arms like telephone poles stands up and says, that's me, can I help you?"
The leafer stutters and shakes but manages to peep, "It's about your sign at the carwash."
"You're not a leaf fan are you?" asks big O'Donnell. The leaf fan turns away sheepishly and decides not to pursue the matter any further. He gets in his car and drives no further than two blocks when he's pulled over by the police. The officer asks him to step out of his car and take a look at the back license plate which has been replaced by a metal sign that reads, "I AM ONE CHICKENSH!T LEAF FAN"
The officer writes out a ticket for $200. "Here's your fine for driving with an illegal plate"
By now the leaf fan has completely lost it and is absolutely storming mad. He returns to the bar to look for his licence plate. Everyone he asks in the bar smiles and chuckles but seemingly nobody knows anything.
Finally he goes up to the bartender and asks, "Geez, does everybody in Calgary treat leaf fans this badly?"
"Well, says the bartender about the only people who are hospitable to leafers you are likely to find in this city are the hotel people. You see, the Stampede is still two months away and the vacancy rate is almost 100%"