View Full Version : Leaf Joke For Today
Leafhatred
6-16-05, 10:51 AM
Three hockey fans hear about a costume party where some hot women might be appearing and decide they are going to crash it. They throw on the jerseys of their favorite hockey teams. One guy wears his Calgary Flames Jersey, one puts on an Edmonton Oilers jersey and finally the last guy puts on the leaf.
They go up to the door and ring the bell. A guy answers and says, "sorry guys, this costume party has a theme to it. You have to come dressed as an emotion. I'll let you in if you come back dressed accordingly and be prepared to elaborate on your choice." He shuts and locks the door.
The three guys look puzzled but go to the back of the house to see what they can find to get ready and try again. The Oilers fan finds a can of green spray paint and paints himself totally green. The Flames fan finds red spray paint and sprays himself red. The leafer finds a pear tree in the backyard with huge juicy pears. He plucks off a giant pear and smashes his head through the middle of it so it wraps around his throat.
They go back to the front door and ring the bell. The same guy answers and says, "Ok boys, I'll let you in but you have to tell me what emotion you are."
The Oilers fan speaks first. "I'm green with envy that the Flames made it all the way to the Finals this year."
The Flames fan then says, "I'm red with rage that the Flames didn't win Game six at home and bring home the Cup."
The guy at the door seems impressed enough. He turns to the leafer and asks, "And what are you?"
The leafer responds. "Me, I'm just deep in des pair."
http://www.xclamationpoint.com/images/ex019.jpg
Ba-Dum-pshhhhh
That was truly horrible :hammer:
Don't quit your day job Mr. Hatred :laughing:
bluemeanie
6-16-05, 11:06 AM
I wasn't prepaired for such a ...horrible joke.
Stupid Leaf.... joke. =]
Leafhatred
6-16-05, 11:17 AM
I wasn't prepaired for such a ...horrible joke.
Stupid Leaf.... joke. =]
Blue, you must be deep in despair....
bluemeanie
6-16-05, 11:33 AM
Blue, you must be deep in despair....
No, I'm deep in something else entirely... but that's for another time. The whole 'despair' thingy has lost it's edge somewhat this year, LH. Ask me again next year, I'm sure that by then the stupid Leaf will reduce me to tears once again and I'll have to drop my head deep in des pair of...
http://www.healthworks2000.com/Firmer%20Breasts.jpg
The leafer responds. "Me, I'm just deep in des pair."
Damn that's a stinking bad joke. Where's that "bad post" report button. Ah!
http://www.hockeystation.com/images/buttons/report.gif
goaliemom7687
6-16-05, 1:58 PM
No, I'm deep in something else entirely... but that's for another time. The whole 'despair' thingy has lost it's edge somewhat this year, LH. Ask me again next year, I'm sure that by then the stupid Leaf will reduce me to tears once again and I'll have to drop my head deep in des pair of...
http://www.healthworks2000.com/Firmer%20Breasts.jpg
They are definitely implants....Nice but expensive.... :coffee:
I think we should change the name of this forum from "Trash Talk" to "Leafhatred's Official Forum"...
They are definitely implants....Nice but expensive.... :coffee:
Expensive? Blue bought his cheap off ebay... some of his buddies got him all pf*&^@&drunked up and, uh, installed them for him the next Saturday evening. At first blue couldn't keep his hands off himself... but he's used to them now. :]
bluemeanie
6-16-05, 2:39 PM
Expensive? Blue bought his cheap off ebay... some of his buddies got him all pf*&^@&drunked up and, uh, installed them for him the next Saturday evening. At first blue couldn't keep his hands off himself... but he's used to them now. :]
I used to have to be drunk to just spontaneously fall forward... but now, thanks to my good friends, it can happen anywhere, anytime. Life is good again.
I used to have to be drunk to just spontaneously fall forward... but now, thanks to my good friends, it can happen anywhere, anytime. Life is good again.
I'd say your new man breasts should keep you safe even after a fall from... uh huh... hang on .... square root .... 1.83 meters....
http://www.comp-engineering.com/products/ETABS/images/EL17.gifhttp://www.myphysicslab.com/images/track_force2.gif
bluemeanie
6-17-05, 9:32 AM
Your equation looks about right grim. It seems that I have had this uncanny ability to just bounce right back up into action due to my modifications. Thanks for noticing. :thumb:
butterfly_style
6-17-05, 9:49 AM
Blue, I find myself mildly attracted to you.
I mean with that tongue and now the mantits . . .who could resist ?
bluemeanie
6-17-05, 10:09 AM
Really? You see... You go out and do something like this just to feel better about yourself, and before you know it you've made an impression on others and all of the sudden you get all this attention. It's amazing how much it can change your life... I haven't paid for a drink or had a speeding ticket in months.
Your equation looks about right grim. It seems that I have had this uncanny ability to just bounce right back up into action due to my modifications. Thanks for noticing. :thumb:
Equation? It's about more than just the math blue... although the physics clearly show you should not exceed a bounce coefficient of P = 2.3 if r > 3.00. And try to remember ... that most men don't understand why a bra is necessary under any circumstances. :]
http://www.pha.jhu.edu/~ldb/seminar/images/bifurcation.gif
skidmark
6-30-05, 11:07 AM
lol :D This is all great stuff guys but lets get back on topic.
True search engine (http://img86.imageshack.us/img86/4929/halgillsuckstx9.png) :wicked:
BTW, is LH still posting here? I've heard a rumour that he and Rusty are one of the same... did someone check their IP address? ;) :laughing:
Madferret
8-21-06, 12:29 PM
John is Eklund
Rusty is LH
This enquiring mind wants to know what Tie Domi would do if Belinda Stronach crosses the floor a year from now and starts dating Chris Neil?
KB in Kelowna
9-26-06, 11:22 AM
This enquiring mind wants to know what Tie Domi would do if Belinda Stronach crosses the floor a year from now and starts dating Chris Neil?
:rollover: :rollover: :rollover: :wicked:
Explain to me again why this classless thug is so popular: http://slam.canoe.ca/Slam/Hockey/News/2006/09/26/1899733-sun.html
Why anybody, would want to date him is way beyond me. He may have money but in his case it just isn't enough.
He may have money but in his case it just isn't enough.
Sounds like she's gonna have his money.... 45K x 12 = $540,000 / year :eek:
Sounds like she's gonna have his money.... 45K x 12 = $540,000 / year :eek:
It's up to 45k a month? I thought it was 30k! :eek:
For the record, the new girl was making $5,000,000 a year before she became a politian, so I don't think Domi's too worried ;)
It's up to 45k a month? I thought it was 30k! :eek:
For the record, the new girl was making $5,000,000 a year before she became a politian, so I don't think Domi's too worried ;)
The article said she wants 15K for child support and 30K for "herself"
Figure Domi to downgrade. Too many punches to the coconut, perhaps?
Why anybody, would want to date him is way beyond me. He may have money but in his case it just isn't enough.
I meant that his money wouldn't be enough for me to date him. The thought of kissing that face is just plain nasty. :eek:
prucha_for_mvp
9-26-06, 8:24 PM
I meant that his money wouldn't be enough for me to date him. The thought of kissing that face is just plain nasty. :eek:
You mean you don't like punching bags?
There are 2 sides to every story, we've only heard one.
Madferret
9-27-06, 12:14 PM
There are 2 sides to every story, we've only heard one.
No I pretty much got the whole story in the papers...
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