View Full Version : Advice?
Canadian26
11-20-05, 11:58 PM
Well, I have a bit of problem and I thought I'd get ppls opinions on here to see what I should do. Theres this guy, that Ive always thought of as just a friend and now I just got word that he likes me and is going to ask me out tommrow :eek:... How do you let a guy know nicely that your not at all intrested, with out it messing up relationship from before??
Any comments would be apperciated (This has never happened to me before)
If I was in his position that'd mean 2 things:
1) I really liked you
2) I thought there was a pretty good chance of this happening
So you should just be obvious with him, but nice about it; something along the lines of "I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong idea ____, but I don't think of you like that. You're a good friend."
My $0.02
slapshot™
11-21-05, 12:28 AM
Don't hedge...and just be honest. If he thinks honesty is too brutal then so be it.
Always be honest.
Don't hedge...and just be honest. If he thinks honesty is too brutal then so be it.
Always be honest.
slappy knows, if you think there's no chance and you lead him on in any way, or even let him think maybe, when you finally have to break it to him, you might as well rip his heart out of his chest and eat it in front of him. As it is it'll probably be pretty tough on him if he really likes you and finds it at all tough to let a girl know how he feels as most guys do, and as seems likely in a case where you've known each other a long time without any indication that he has feelings for you. He probably already feels that he's had signals from you, so best not to leave any ambiguity.
Better short and quick than a lingering torture.
charlio lemieux
11-21-05, 12:57 AM
Try throwing up on him. Or perhaps a loud noxious flatulation would be in order. Talk to him about some fascinating natural childbirth procedure. Or a curious rash you suddenly developed.
As long as you don't string the guy along have some fun. The laughter will ease the inevitable tension. If you freak him out enough he'll never even ask.
LiAmTrAnSdEmOn
11-21-05, 1:02 AM
Just be honet as slappy said cause leading him on will only mess with his head and then it will be even harder to tell him the truth.
Canadian26
11-21-05, 1:17 AM
Thanks guys... This is hard, I never thought that he might think i was sending him "signals". I dont want be to harsh, I like PDO suggestion. Charlio that be to funny, but I dont think I could do that. Guys are so complicated...
Guys are so complicated...
:rollover2
Like your Einstein quote btw.
Iced Tea
11-21-05, 1:21 AM
Oh man, been there.
If he asks you out, be gentle but straightforward and make it quick. If he really cares about you, he'll still want to be friends.
Just never ever repeat the conversation or event to anyone else or he will hate you forever. After she blabbed, I wished she was dead for a few months but I eventually got over to the point that her breaking a leg would make me happy. I'm kidding, I'm happy for her because she married a total loser. :laughing:
This is really a conversation we should be having over a cup of tea with some scones and orange marmalade.
Canadian26
11-21-05, 1:33 AM
Its much better talking to guys about this, all my friends are like just say why do you want to be nice to him...
MadDevil
11-21-05, 1:36 AM
"I just want to be friends" is a phrase I know all too well.:laughing:
I'd follow PDO's advice, be nice about it, and whatever happens happens. There's not much else you can really do.
Iced Tea
11-21-05, 1:40 AM
"I just want to be friends" is a phrase I know all too well.:laughing:
I'd follow PDO's advice, be nice about it, and whatever happens happens. There's not much else you can really do.
Get him drunk so he can't remember his humiliation. :D
Leafs_Fa_Life
11-21-05, 1:40 AM
Its much better talking to guys about this, all my friends are like just say why do you want to be nice to him...
Yeah, Ruby and Sarah are a couple of b*tches:p
charlio lemieux
11-21-05, 1:51 AM
"I just want to be friends" Please take out a gun and shoot me. Those words are poison.
Chris Rock has it down. " Men don't have women friends. Men know women they haven't slept with ...yet!"
The only way to get this guy to stop liking you without hurting his feelings, is to change his mind about you.
If you want guy friends, look for a bar with lots of leather and George Micheal music.
Canadian26
11-21-05, 1:56 AM
"I just want to be friends" Please take out a gun and shoot me. Those words are poison.
Chris Rock has it down. " Men don't have women friends. Men know women they haven't slept with ...yet!"
The only way to get this guy to stop liking you without hurting his feelings, is to change his mind about you.
If you want guy friends, look for a bar with lots of leather and George Micheal music.
Thats hillarious... PPL always say a guy and a girl cant be friends with out atleast one of them likeing the other. Kinda sad, I never thought it would happen to me.
Yeah, Ruby and Sarah are a couple of b*tches
Meh, maybe their right... If I be mean to him, then he might stop likeing me. I should straight up be like NO lol then walk away... To bad im not a b*tch
MadDevil
11-21-05, 1:59 AM
And another word of advice, don't ever date anybody you work with. It never ends well.:D
Iced Tea
11-21-05, 2:14 AM
And another word of advice, don't ever date anybody you work with. It never ends well.:DWas she a Rangers' fan or something? Or Brodeur's sister in law? :D
MadDevil
11-21-05, 2:22 AM
Was she a Rangers' fan or something? Or Brodeur's sister in law? :D
:laughing:
No, but she did somewhat like the Flyers.:eek: :doh:
Madferret
11-21-05, 1:46 PM
I'm not gay, but I can learn..
If this guy is a friend there is nothing wrong with going out with him once. It doesn't mean you have to do anything intimate. While you are out with him just be cool, he will get the hint. It works like a charm and he will think that he ended it. If he pressures you to do anything more than spend time together then you can be more blunt.
Newfie John
11-21-05, 4:59 PM
Yeah, Ruby and Sarah are a couple of b*tches:p
You two know eachother? Are you this mystery admirer?:laughing:
It's going to be really tough on him to ask you out, if you're friendship is real strong. Let him down easy.. then probably plan something with him afterward(movie.. hockeygame, i dunno) so it won't be so wierd between you two and you can actually be friends. If you just let him down easy and say, "we'll stay friends" things will get wierd.. believe me.. so break the ice all over again after you break his heart.:cool:
I am Dr. Phil.
Newfie John
11-21-05, 5:00 PM
If this guy is a friend there is nothing wrong with going out with him once. It doesn't mean you have to do anything intimate. While you are out with him just be cool, he will get the hint. It works like a charm and he will think that he ended it. If he pressures you to do anything more than spend time together then you can be more blunt.
Well they're friends already, so they already spend time together. If he wants to make it more obviously, so she's gonna have to be blunt.
Well they're friends already, so they already spend time together. If he wants to make it more obviously, so she's gonna have to be blunt.
I disagree. Being blunt IF he asks her out will lead to hurt feelings. She can go out with him and act like a friend, i.e. not responding to any moves on his part. It is surprising how many people get the hint when that happens. On the other hand maybe she will really enjoy the date and I don't mean that in a sexual way.
slapshot™
11-21-05, 5:57 PM
I disagree. Being blunt IF he asks her out will lead to hurt feelings. She can go out with him and act like a friend, i.e. not responding to any moves on his part.
I disagree.
If he can't handle the truth then he really isn't interested in being a friend. If he can handle the truth than perhaps a friendship can be possible.
C26 shouldn't have to pussyfoot around his feelings. If she lays it on the line there are no questions and everyone knows where they stand.
The not responding to any moves on his part isn't an accurate barometer to indicate what he might be thinking. Even though he might not be acting he could perhaps be thinking there is a chance to sway her.
Why leave it to be a guessing game?
Just spell it out to him. If he can't handle the truth - too bad, so sad.
charlio lemieux
11-21-05, 5:59 PM
I disagree. Being blunt IF he asks her out will lead to hurt feelings. She can go out with him and act like a friend, i.e. not responding to any moves on his part. It is surprising how many people get the hint when that happens. On the other hand maybe she will really enjoy the date and I don't mean that in a sexual way.
Puking on him would be so much easier.
No matter what you say you will hurt his feelings. You have to make him not want you anymore.
Newfie John
11-21-05, 7:39 PM
If she keeps him wondering by not responding to his moves.. maybe he could get more aggressive.. lol. Obviously we have differing opinions but to just come(no pun) out with it is the best way.
Canadian26
11-21-05, 10:12 PM
He didnt ask me out excatlly :boogie:... but he did tell me he had feelings for me :eek: i.e. that he likes me alot. He then told me I didnt have to say anything, he just wanted to get it off his chest. So then I didnt say ANYTHING at all, like basically i told him ti was werid and thats it. Seems like a bad move, after reading your guys responses to A4L... Shoulda just told him straight up :sigh: this is harder than I thought...
Iced Tea
11-22-05, 1:11 AM
If he ask for a lock of your hair for his altar to you, run. :laughing:
Kidding aside, if he ever says something else, be frank and to the point. Then get a restraining order. :laughing:
Sorry, seriously though, just hide out in your room for the next few months. :laughing:
If he asks you out, just say no.
Canadian26
11-22-05, 3:21 AM
If he ask for a lock of your hair for his altar to you, run. :laughing:
Kidding aside, if he ever says something else, be frank and to the point. Then get a restraining order. :laughing:
Sorry, seriously though, just hide out in your room for the next few months. :laughing:
If he asks you out, just say no.
I dont know I actually have to see him tommroow:eek:, might as well just tell him stright up...
bluemeanie
11-22-05, 4:28 PM
Just be a sport and sleep with him.
Just be a sport and sleep with him.
lol
I disagree, I say hold out at least until the stalker phase of the relationship. A man who disguises himself as a shrubbery and follows you down the street is definitely ready to get serious. :)
Newfie John
11-22-05, 6:25 PM
Just be a sport and sleep with him.
LOL.. you made me actually laugh out loud again old man..
C26, you told him it was wierd? Sorry, I don't mean to kid but thats hilarious.
Boy- "I really have feelings for you, and I needed to get this off my chest".
Girl- "......thats wierd"
C26, what do you look like anyway. Maybe this newf wants in? :laughing: :nod:
slapshot™
11-22-05, 9:34 PM
C26, what do you look like anyway. Maybe this newf wants in? :laughing: :nod:
She's waaaay outta your league, Johnny.
Madferret
11-22-05, 9:38 PM
C26, what do you look like anyway. Maybe this newf wants in?
lol
Always a classic line that's very popular with the ladies..
Iced Tea
11-23-05, 3:02 AM
Have you killed the guy in self defense yet after he snuck into your house through the downstairs window with the faulty lock, made a sandwich, ate it, ran upstairs, scared your parents silly and then tried to cuddle with you? :laughing:
Newfie John
11-23-05, 7:18 AM
lol
Always a classic line that's very popular with the ladies..
Depending on the lady, it's very effective.:laughing:
Leafs_Fa_Life
11-23-05, 8:12 PM
C26, what do you look like anyway. Maybe this newf wants in? :laughing: :nod:
She can get the job done;) :thumb:
Canadian26
11-23-05, 11:14 PM
She can get the job done;) :thumb:
Now what excatlly is that suppose to mean?? Haha, and if you mean what I think you mean, how would you know... when was the last time you gotten.... (you can fill in the blanks yourself)
She's waaaay outta your league, Johnny.
Who isn't? :boogie: :wicked:
Iced Tea
11-24-05, 12:19 AM
Now what exactly is that suppose to mean?? Haha, and if you mean what I think you mean, how would you know... when was the last time you gotten.... (you can fill in the blanks yourself)LFL can count the number of times he's gotten any on his left hand but then again his left hand is the only thing he's gotten. :laughing: :D
?LFL can count the number of times he's gotten any on his left hand but then again his left hand is the only thing he's gotten. :laughing: :D
What about his right hand? :laughing: :talkhand:
Iced Tea
11-24-05, 12:28 AM
?
What about his right hand? :laughing: :talkhand:Maybe he's a switch hitter or his left hand gets jealous. LFL will have to answer that one. :laughing: :D
TimmyTabasco
11-24-05, 4:04 AM
She's waaaay outta your league, Johnny.
Who isn't? :boogie: :wicked:
The old cod down by the bay
Newfie John
11-24-05, 6:17 PM
Now what excatlly is that suppose to mean?? Haha, and if you mean what I think you mean, how would you know... when was the last time you gotten.... (you can fill in the blanks yourself)
I think I'd like to hear all the details here.. lol
lfl goin through a dry spell?:wicked:
I think I'd like to hear all the details here.. lol
lfl goin through a dry spell?:wicked:
I htink somebody else is going through a dry spell as well.
Newfie John
11-24-05, 11:33 PM
I htink somebody else is going through a dry spell as well.
Why? Because I'm not giving the birthday girl any love?:nod: jk.. im only joking around with LFL, dont take it seriously.
Why? Because I'm not giving the birthday girl any love?:nod: jk.. im only joking around with LFL, dont take it seriously.
Don't worry I wasn't taking it seriously. :laughing: Where were you to-day? I have been waiting for you.:no::eyebug: :laughing:
Canadian26
11-25-05, 3:53 AM
Don't worry I wasn't taking it seriously. :laughing: Where were you to-day? I have been waiting for you.:no::eyebug: :laughing:
You shouldnt toy with John emotions like that... he might actually think your serious lol... :eek:
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